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Broken Kingdom

Refracted light . . .

10/26/2017

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      Yeinar spoke, “Cleinags, I am confused.  So, the pesky little bird is now on our side?”
      “Yes,” Nags responded, “he has had a change of heart.  Something about always having his loyalties with Wee-One and never wanting to betray her again.  So, he and his friends are out searching for Bags until they find her.”
     “What do you suppose might happen, if they were to find Mal-Nai injured or dead,” asked Yeinar.
     “I asked them to report back anything they find, anything at all, including something of that sort.  I know she is on her own, but I hope she is found by them,” said Nags.
     “What are you two wasting time about, now,” ask Gruashe.  “Terba sent me to find you and she is not happy!  You left her to pack up the food alone.  I tried to help, but you know how she gets when she is on a tear.”
     “First, Mal-Nai and now, Magsbraenty, I do not think this has anything to do with the food,” Yeinar said to Cleinags.
     “I think you are correct,” said Nags as the two joined Terba.  She was stomping about throwing things into her packs.  All three attempted to avoid eye contact as they followed behind cleaning as they went.  She tossed things hither and yon as the three ducked and packed neatly.
     Terba mumbled under her breath, “So, now I am left alone to care for these, these, these galoots.  Now, I have more with those crazy hydrangeas.  I do not even know what they eat or how to cook it.  Will they leave me alone, too?”
     Wee-One and Nom-Mee sang to each other on the comfy bed as they wept.  They knew Mal-Nai was in trouble because she was not where she was supposed to be.  They held each other tightly as they sang the healing lullaby.  They each knew they were too sick for it to work, but they secretly prayed it would somehow reach her.
     Dweller saw them singing and was confused thinking they were singing for themselves.  When he inquired, Wee-One stated, “Mal-Nai needs us and we know we cannot go.  We cannot give her our strength, but she needs our courage.  She is dismayed.  She has lost hope.  She has given up and no longer cares.”
     “That is why we grow weaker,” stated Nom-Mee.  “She sees only refracted light.  It does not give warmth only a false sense of one’s true self.  She is being deceived and she is too afraid to question her own self.”
      Wee-One joined in, “Our eyes have deceived us before.”
      Dweller spoke, “I am not allowed to go to her unless I am sent by the one who sends all.  I cannot ask on my behalf alone.”
     “I am sending you,” spoke Wee-One’s small tender voice, almost too weak to be heard . . .
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    Lea G.

    I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2000.  I have struggled with panic attacks associated with this diagnosis for many years.  I began writing this story while in treatment at The Center in the summer of 2017.  It has provided an outlet for my anxiety and surprising much-needed healing.

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