Once upon a time in a land not so far away lived a small girl in a pleasant village in a small home. She loved to play among the flowers and trees. She and her friends would climb the trees and tell their silly girl secrets. At night, her parents would read her stories of faraway places where kings and knights lived that had great adventures. Sometimes, there were scary things in the stories, but her daddy always told her she was safe, because he would always be there.
One day her daddy did not come home to her pleasant village or her small home. She stopped playing in the flowers and trees. She did not want to climb trees and tell silly secrets. She was no longer safe, because he did not tell the truth. Her mommy said he was safe in a faraway place, but he was not safe. The little girl worried, because she knew scary things happened in those places. The monster commands all to stand at attention night and day. There is no rest for the weary. The traveler must join the ranks just the same, as the march is endless. “What do you mean you are tired? I have been here for days.” Never let them see you tremble. It is a sign of weakness. Wee-One’s lips quiver as she hands the weapon over to the Rock Monster, who holds her fate in his hands. She tries to will herself not to feel, but the emotions prove too strong for the wee-one as she suddenly has a strange taste in her mouth. She dare not glance upward for fear her eyes would lock with the monster’s. She knew, or she thought she knew, the Spear Bearer was there to protect her. The spear bearer sat silently as the monster had the wee-one stripped of dignity waiting for her “well-deserved” beating. “I’ll teach you a lesson, this time. You will not quickly forget.” She strained with all of her might as to what she might have done to earn such a scourging. Surely, she must have disrupted the entire kingdom, for the spear bearer turned her back. There was no rescue. Nowhere to hide on that day. No one to save her. So, now she does the thing she wished she had done that day. She hides. When people get too close to finding her, she pushes, for fear she will be found. There is no “Happily Ever After” to this story. There are only new hiding places in the deep recesses of the mind. Just keep them guessing. Put a smile on and when absolutely necessary, make them laugh. Anything to keep the strange taste out of her mouth. Then, then . . . the Rock Monster wins. Wee-One grew, but was still weak. She was well hid in the kingdom to prevent the spear bearer from catching her eye. The Rock Monster could not see her until that day . . .
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Lea G.
I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2000. I have struggled with panic attacks associated with this diagnosis for many years. I began writing this story while in treatment at The Center in the summer of 2017. It has provided an outlet for my anxiety and surprising much-needed healing. Archives
March 2019
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