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Broken Kingdom

All alone . . .

10/24/2017

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     Mal-Nai began talking to herself, “How will I be able to walk?  All is not as it seems.  I must trust.  How do I trust this?  Trust only Poppie.  What is going on?”  Shakily, she stood on her deformed feet as her tears continued to stream.
     Mal-Nai stood without mlooks or any foot coverings ever.  She was filled with much fear.  She was unsure she would be able to do it.  At first, she gripped the table tightly knowing she would soon fall at any minute.  As she continued to cry, she shook and trembled not knowing what would happen next.  Slowly she lifted her hands from the table and she stood.
     More tears streamed now, she felt no pain.  “How can this be?  Even in my mlooks, my feet hurt all day.  One step, now, easy, just one step, OK, now, two, breathe.”  Mal-Nai walked across the room and then trotted.  She began to giggle as she skipped around the room.  “I do not believe it!  What an amazing day!”  She grabbed her pebble, held it in her left hand, and looked at her feet.  “They are not deformed.  I knew it.  I must walk this path alone.”
     The squad awoke, ate, and packed for the journey ahead.  Yeinar knew he must trust his instincts as the figure had intimated.  How else could he help his beloved friend?  She forgave him, so he will now do what he must to save her.  “How can she still trust me,” he asked himself as he began to cry.  “Where are these tears coming from?  Yes, I admit it I love her, but will she ever love herself as I do?”
      “Yeinar,” Gruashe approached, “which path will we take from here?”
      Yeinar wiped his eyes before turning.  “I think we need to continue to stay close to the river as the hydragety directed.  As it turns west, we will be exposed on the plain until it reaches the base of Mount Glekny (gleek-knee).”
      “Yes, that is my mountain,” shouted Gruashe.  “I knew you would help me find my family, my friend.  I am concerned about the plain.  During the day, many hosrosubs roam there looking for food.  At night, the plain is covered with them sleeping.  It will be difficult for us to find a clear path.”
       “A way will be cleared for us.  We will be safe.  Rock Monster will not see us,” said Yeinar.
“You two need to eat,” said Bags.  “Terba is upset that you did not eat more.  She is on her way and she does not look happy.  Without Mal-Nai here to care for, I think she has too much free time.  She has been muttering to herself since we woke up.  I just wanted to warn you.”
       “Terba,” Yeinar said sweetly before she could speak.  “I was coming to find you.  I was talking to Gruashe about your lovely vutre.  My, how I do love it.  You must tell me how you make it.”  He put his arm around her as he and Gruashe walked with her to consume more breakfast.
       Nags watched the spectacle and chuckled.  He asked Magsbraenty to fly over the plain to search for any obvious danger.  He really wanted her to spot Mal-Nai, but he knew this time she was on her own path and he would not see her.
       The squad exited the cave as a storm approached from the east.  Nags was worried about Magsbraenty.  She had been gone too long and he was unsure she could make it safely back in this tempest.  Gruashe came alongside him with fibtlears (fib-t’lears) to share.  Nahs brushed him away.  “I cannot eat.  Where is she?  She should be back.  There is no one to look for her.  Terba broke her wing as a child.”
       Gruashe was concerned.  He had not seen his friend in such a state.  “She always makes it back.  She is very reliable.”  Nags did not want to tell his friend he suspected her as the spy.  Why else would she not have warned them sooner of the marching groves?  He turned to find his favorite hydragety.
       “If you are going to continue to appear and not help me, could you please tell your name?”  Nags was clearly exasperated by the situation and it could be heard in his question.
       “My name cannot be pronounced in your tongue.  For you have not adequate sounds in your primitive language.  You may refer to me as Ralgam (ral-gem).  That is an ancient word for one of our ancestral species.  Would that be acceptable to you, floral?”
       Nags looked perturbed at his newly-named companion.  “Yes, Ralgam, I do believe I can manage that name.  As it appears that you have joined us on our journey, may I welcome you on our quest.”
       “But,” interrupted Ralgam ….
       Nags finished his sentence before he had the chance, “We do not get involved; we only warn of danger.  Yes, yes, we all know the pledge by heart.  I just have one question.  If that is the case, why are you following us?”
       Before Ralgam could answer, a loud noise erupted to the south causing the ground to suddenly shake …
        “This is why I am here, sir.  The southern mountain range has split in half blocking your path back to the kingdom with the gales it will only get worse.  It will cause flooding on the plain.  You need to travel quickly.”
        Nags replied, “Well, Ralgam, I need you to fly and find Magsbraenty.  I do not want to hear your duty bound statement.  Just this once, do something, because you might perhaps, I do not know, like someone!”
       “Well, right, sir,” stammered Ralgam.  “I have grown accustomed to having you ruffians in my demesne.  I so feel an obligation to keep you safe.  I will leave straightaway.”  Ralgam’s wings were built to withstand the storms surrounding the mountains and easily flew into the rushing wind.  He was joined by twenty fellow hydragetys.
       Mal-Nai had quickly became used to her strong, steady feet.  She leaped about swiftly over the stones and rocks upon her path.  She felt her heart growing stronger with each step.  She had not felt this much strength in her being ever.  Words she often heard began to come, “You are weak.  You cripple, who will want you?”
       Tears streamed down Mal-Nai’s face as she began to reach for the pebble, but she stopped herself.  She knew this time she needed to feel.  She was alone in the darkness.  There was no one to comfort her.  She tried to imagine those who she had allowed to get somewhat close being near to her now.  It was no use.  She was alone . . .
1 Comment
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4/19/2023 15:19:18

Thank you for writting this

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    Lea G.

    I was diagnosed with PTSD in 2000.  I have struggled with panic attacks associated with this diagnosis for many years.  I began writing this story while in treatment at The Center in the summer of 2017.  It has provided an outlet for my anxiety and surprising much-needed healing.

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